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My Top 5 Red Flags

*Disclaimer: all names/examples have been slightly altered to protect the innocent and guilty*

I'm sure you're wondering why this red flag is draped around this cross. Well, don't strain yourself. I'm going to tell you. In honor of Resurrection Day, Holy Week, Passover and any other special holiday you recognized last week or none; I thought it was fitting since I'll be discussing my top five (5) red flags and how to escape them! Or rather how to say yes to change on a Thursday and come back new Sunday like you never left. See the parallelism there? The point is, I needed a little supernatural help with this post! Here goes…

5) Too private: there's something to be said for the gentleman who wants things to be so private and hidden, you feel like an Easter egg during a hunt.  I guess that can be endearing? Who knows? The details of your relationship should without a doubt be kept between the two of you; however, other people being aware (i.e. female friends, co-workers, friends in general, family members, etc.) that you two are dating and have been for months SHOULDN’T be kept a secret. If this is the case and you want to keep your man, talk to him. Maybe he'll be ready to go public after a year of dating [I'm being facetious]. It should be way before that in my opinion. On the other hand, if you don't want to keep him and you know your worth—kick that sucker to the curb. I personally want to be appreciated/recognized in public and behind closed doors.  Who really wants to be an Easter egg? Look what happened to Humpty Dumpty—broken into pieces to never be put back together again?  But guess who can put you back together again? Exactly.

4) Pays for everything in cash: he’s either got a wife or doesn't believe in FDIC. Either way, both are bad. Run.

3) Boomerang communicator: we've all met this person at some point in our lives, the person that throws every conversation back on you. Nothing is ever their fault. Or better yet, they admit to wrongdoing; however, still make it your fault in the long run. Beware of this communicator. They're usually the tricky and especially manipulative ones. Don't worry; you should pass this test successfully now that I'm bringing it to your attention. Stay focused on your end goal when chatting with this one. Have your bullet points available to get your thoughts across and don't back down from your feelings. They’re yours and are warranted.

2)  Never get invited over: if you don't get invited over within the first 3 months of dating, he's hiding something. A dead body, a girlfriend, a football team of kids, some other woman’s paraphernalia that “doesn't” live there anymore or even worse. He's just plain dirty. All of which are red flags and you might want to reevaluate some things. My opinion, but hey, everyone has one like a butthole. Just saying.

1) Pathological liar: if all his friends and family say he's a liar, chances are…he's a liar and there's no way around that unless something divinely intervenes in this person’s life. For instance, like Jesus dying on the cross for us.  I mean that with pure sincerity. Listen to the people that know him most, they will show you who he is and may be trying to save you from unnecessary heartache.  Anyone that just offers a lie pulled from the clouds above with a straight face is dangerous. Stay aware of the hypocritically ingenuous, you never know when they're genuine.

These few red flags may open your eyes or even remind you of a past experience. Keep those eyes forever open with strips of duct tape extending from your eyelids to eyebrows. Always stay “woke” when dating. People will tell you everything you need to know within the first 5 minutes of a conversation. Just take mental notes and empower yourself to listen to the blaring red flags being spewed over a fine shot of tequila on a Taco Tuesday.


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